[I don’t feel this is as well written as I want it to be, but I am going to share it as it is thus far, just because this is a subject I want to encourage people to think about in regard to understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder and the struggle people with Autism/Asperger’s have with social cognition. I just want to try to help people understand what it is like to have difficulty or almost complete impairment trying to engage in and navigate any sort of social situation or dynamic. So this isn’t completely written or well-written, but I don’t want to wait until it is perfect before I share it.]
There have been times where it really bothered me when other people could do things I couldn’t do, or even if I couldn’t do them as well as they could. I would get jealous, or feel inferior, to someone who had amazing artistic talent and abilities. Or someone could play music better than me. I would go around, trying to be interested in every thing another person I knew could do better than me. When I did this, I spread myself really thin. Even if I were better than another person at something, that didn’t matter. All I could see were the things other people could do that I couldn’t, or the fact that someone had been practicing something I had never even tried, so obviously they were better than me.
I had to come to terms with the fact that nobody can do everything, and there are some things that some people just don’t have the capacity to do well, or at a high level. There are so many different forms of cognition, and I think that the study of autism is showing that every person has capacities that other people don’t. The idea that you can do anything you put your mind to is not completely true. We are each built with certain capacities. Even if you become the best in the world at something, you can never be the best at everything. You are going to have to discern the strengths you have, and be aware of where you lack. And appreciate the strengths of others. Rejoice that other people can do things that you can’t. But also develop what you can do yourself.
Think about something someone else you know has the capability to do. Someone might know math better than you. I personally know some calculus. But I have a friend who can do much higher levels of math than I can. But I also know that I can write better than many people I know. Social cognition is another realm where people differ, especially among those with an autism spectrum disorder. Think of something you can do well. Also think of something you don’t do well, or you get a headache just thinking about trying to wrap your head around. There might be some subject where you are perfectly at home engaging in. There might be another area you can’t even conceptualize or understand at all. Imagine someone who just does not understand social processes or activities or principles. Someone who has autism probably has a hard time, or may be completely clueless about things involving social interaction or dynamics, whereas you might be able to just get along fine. So imagine something you don’t understand at all, that you have no clue how to understand and participate in, and transfer that struggle to being able to act in the social world.
I have been observing myself when acting in a social capacity. I used to not want to accept the fact that most times, in a social setting, I am completely clueless. I knew it all along, but wanted to try to act as if I were socially competent. It is exhausting, because whatever parts of my brain that process social principles and phenomena just don’t seem to be very developed. I can conceptualize mathematical principles and ideas such as in calculus, something which a lot of people don’t know much about at all, but I cannot get a sense of any social principles that well. I might be better than some other people with autism. Some people with autism cannot read facial expressions or nonverbal forms of communication. Some people with autism cannot read vocal inflections and changes of pitch, or things like sarcasm or figures of speech. I can do those things to a better degree. But it can be hard for me to know how to interact in a conversation or dialogue.
So in every form of cognition there are spectrums of capacity. In math, you have people who can understand at a very high level, all the way down to people who have very little mathematical cognitive ability or capacity. And even within math, someone who is at a high level might have gaps in their math knowledge. So say you have little mathematical capacity, but you have very high social capacity and intelligence, just imagine someone having trouble socially, the same way you have trouble with something you do not understand or know how to participate in, whether it is math, or art, or music, or spelling, or whatever. There are various different forms of cognition, and social cognition is one of them, one which pretty much all people with autism struggle with, or might be even seriously impaired with.
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